This is honestly me.

Life is interesting. If you would have told me two years ago while I was walking the cold streets of Russia that I would be 25, still single, living in my parents basement, working as a wild land firefighter, and dating a guy from the Cedar City hotshots fire crew, and still not done with school, I would have not believed you. Yet here I am doing all those things. Yeah I am dating a real life hotshot (ha ha, it's really not a cool thing I just want to pretend it is.) We will see how long it lasts he has tattoos and earring, which he actually took out soon after we started dating. I do not expect a person to really change for anyone but themselves, however I see that Joe (his name) really wants to change for himself. So here I am casually dating for the first time a non member. I must be honest I worry about it. I don't know if this is the wisest thing I have ever done. Yet I do not feel the urgency to run away from it, like I have felt even when dating members. This to me is actually a mystery. Actually, not really, I am sure that some members are far worse than non members. Anywho, I know that my sister in law reads this and is going to give me a hard time about it, but it's ok, because it's nothing serious anyway. He is pretty darn cute though. ;)
Two years ago I would have thought myself to be well on my way with starting a family by now. There is nothing more that I want in this life than the oppurtunity to raise children in a home that is a haven for them. I want to try my very hardest to raise righteous and kind children. It is the thing that pushes me forward that I strive to achieve the most. This is all very personnal and I have shared this with a few special people in my life. I at moments have given up on this dream and thought it not a blessing that I will receive in this lifetime, I have been mad and sad that it hasn't happened yet, and wondered why! I know that it sounds silly that I would give up so easily. But the fact is that I want it so badly and if it weren't to happen that it would be crushing to me, so I have let myself believe at times that it will not happen. Truth is I know it will. I just have something to learn first and I know that it will come at the right time with the right person. I am excited and scared for it. I hope that none of you will look down on me for sharing my real dreams and goals, this is what I really want more than anything- a family. I am not sitting on my hope chest waiting for it, but it is what I want the most. I am just telling the truth. This is the reason I chose to be a school teacher so if I had to work I could still be with my children. It is the reason I have tried to be healthy so that I can be there in many ways for my children and it is the reason I try so hard to keep the commandments. I will not give up my dreams for anything. I will hold out until they are achieved. I am sure I have scared someone with my openness and honesty. But I see no reason not to admit that I want these things. I don't understand why it is looked down on to admit it in the first place. I believe it to be the most noble thing you can do. I will finish now this is long. Good night.